"It’s not my fault."
"There’s nothing I can do."
"You don’t understand, I really am stuck."
These are just a few of the darts that keep us from moving forward into the future self that God has waiting for us. Getting from where you are to where you could be might not be as far off as you think. You have access to every spiritual gift and are able to live a life that exudes the success of and active relationship with God and the adventure in store for those who follow Him.
Here’s some simple steps to help you move forward and own your future.
1) Discern if what you want is really God’s will. Likely what is in your heart as a goal is His will, but it is worth making sure. Watch for my upcoming blog on steps to knowing God’s voice and not throwing the proverbial “God card”. Aiming for a target God doesn’t have for you is a surefire way to miss the mark. (see my blog Checkpoints to knowing God's will) Side note: Sometimes God’s will is to give you grace to deal with what you want miraculous relief from. You can’t force a miracle, but you can lean into grace!
2) Determine what has been holding you back. Usually time, money, connections or commitment are the culprits, and most often lies run right along with these obstacles. (See my blog about dealing with lies to find release from these menacing lenses)Lies are like lenses.
3) Decide what you next step is. Address the obstacle(s) holding you back. Make a SMART goal with associated dated action steps. What are you waiting for?
4) Deal with doubts. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again. If your SMART goal and action steps don’t produce immediate results or work out the way you hoped, it is still good that you tried them. That means you have succeeded in valuable research, found more of what doesn’t work and now you need to try something else to see if that works.
5) Repeat and redouble these steps as needed.
Let’s take just a couple examples:
The lovely lady without a beau.
1) Discern if marriage is a next step God has for you.
2) Determine what has been holding you back. If there are no men fishing in the pond you are swimming in, you may need to visit other ponds.
3) Decide what you can do besides pray and wait – maybe you can start a new hobby and meet new people, visit a different small group or even meet people online (gasp! but truly – online is where community often happens in our modern world and while precautions need to be taken in any dating situation, there are good people to be met in many places.)
4) Deal with any doubts that could be holding you back. If you don’t see yourself as valuable it will be hard for others to see you that way as well.
5) Don’t be afraid of meeting people others suggest you meet (my kind way of saying maybe you should stop disregarding blind dates or arranged meetings – be wise of course, but you never know….)
The unemployed or underemployed man in a midlife review considering a new pathway
1) Discern if God is in the musings. If He is than He will guide you through the risks and changes.
2) Determine what the obstacles are and what the costs will be for you to move forward.
3) Decide how you can move in that direction incrementally. Try the book “Quitter” by Jon Acuff, or “Half Time” by Bob Buford.
4) Deal with the doubts. If it was easy everyone would be doing it. You may need to deal with some lies or build a support team, but moving forward even in risky situations is always better than wondering “What if…” in later years.
5) Keep trying. You may have to knock on a few doors, or take some classes or find your niche but gritting your teeth to get through your job is not really a life anyone should choose to live.
How about you? What do you need to own about your future? I’d love to hear more and if you need coaching we should talk!