The lessons I’ve learned through the many courses I’ve taken from Bridges Coaching have been so incredibly helpful! I often let Cindy know she’s increased my “shelf-life” as a pastor by years!
Seriously, I feel as if the Biblical principles I’ve known for years have found real traction through coach training and have helped me relate to people much differently than I did in the past.
I no longer believe I’m responsible for the results of my coaching, or even counseling.
At the end of the day it is the other person’s life to live and their choice whether or not to make decisions – not mine.
In Luke 18:18-25 a story is related reflecting Jesus heart toward those not ready for His kingdom. The story is a familiar one. It is of the rich young ruler who comes to Jesus asking what he must do to attain eternal life. Jesus reminds him of the commandments and the man proudly states he’s been doing good there.
Then Jesus says, “Sell all you have, give it to the poor and come follow Me.” Ouch! Jesus hit this guy right in the place he was holding on. The Scripture says the young man went away sad. Now, who knows what happened later in this guy’s life, but all we know is he chose his own way and walked away sad. Sad – now that’s a descriptive word, but it didn’t change the guy’s behavior. He was gone.
Jesus didn’t chase after him, or ask if he wanted to set up a follow up appointment. He just left the choice to him.
Now, I wonder what this story might look like in today’s church environment.
A guy comes into a pastor’s office and a similar communication takes place. Yet, this time I can see the pastor (because I myself have done this in the past) say something like, “You know, let’s just take this in increments.” or “Hold on. You don’t need to storm out of my office. We can work something out.”
However, this is not at all what Jesus did. He did not chase the guy down.
Basically, this appointment with the rich young ruler did not end well – at least not that day. Hmmmm…
I remember recently a couple came in to my office. One of them did not like what I had to say and stormed out. I think in the past I would have chased after them.
However, I chose not to go this route this time. I knew what I had spoken was what was needed to be said and it offered as choices to them, but they simply did not want what I was offering.
So, I continued to listen to and offer options to the spouse who stayed. To this day, I’m not sure if the spouse who bolted has opted for any of the options I offered, but what I do know is I offered.
It’s up to them to do with that what they will.
The fact is some appointments do not end well. Yet, that’s not the end. Maybe I just played a part along the way. I can be okay with that. How about you?
*Eric is an Associate Coach for Bridges Coaching and Care Pastor at Elim Gospel Church. He’s also Cindy Scott’s husband. Read more about him on the Bridges Coaching website.
Interested in Coach Training to help you offer a Biblical plan for your people to grow? Check out the Coach training options offered by Bridges Coaching. There’s something for everyone!