This is mantra that played over and over in my head. I just wanted my life to count for for something. To leave an impact.
There I was at another Tony Stolzfus event digging into my core processing center to try and understand more about how God moves in lives, and in particular in my life.
The challenge was to look at a recurring thought that paralyzed us from forward movement. I knew right away that this was mine.
I spent some time with God sharing my heart. Really and truly I only wanted to do it right for Him! I was caught up in making right choices, doing things the best way possible, impacting as many people as possible in the most efficient way possible. Too be honest I was a little obsessed about getting it right and doing my absolute best. And I believe He smiled at me.
Maybe His smile was a little like mine when I am with one of my grandkids and they want to do something all by themselves that I could easily do for them in a flash. Like tie their shoes. He loved me where I was at, but He was challenging my view and offering a better perspective. A more kingdom minded grown up lifestyle.
Tony then challenged us to ask God what He thought about our mindset. What was the mantra God wanted us/me to have?
What happened next changed me.
God spoke to my heart and said, “Yes, Cindy, If you’re not careful you’ll miss it.”
But the “it” was a completely different!
The “it” He didn’t want me to miss was not something specific I was supposed to do. It wasn’t a certain relational connection I was supposed to make. It wasn’t a certain right choice or a better system.
He wanted me not to miss relationship with Him! He wanted me to want Him to help with my shoelaces. He wanted to be with me, to be in me, to provide strength and grace from right within me where He wants to indwell us.
God does not want us to do things FOR Him, He wants to walk WITH us in whatever we are doing.
I know I suffer from “marching orders syndrome” where I go to Him when I finish the task I have been given and await my next mission, when really He doesn’t want to be my field marshal as much as He wants to play with me at life.
I tend to take things all too seriously and be task oriented, when He is crying out for me to just be with Him. We will likely get more done because I’ll spend less time worrying about doing the right thing. Less time asking for answers.
When I don’t happily invite Him in, it’s like I am pushing Him off and tying my shoes myself.
What if I just walk through life day by day with Him. Allowing Him to not only guide me, but indwell me and do things for me!?
Oh, how I love this new perspective. It is so much less stressful.
I am free to try things and laugh with Him if they don’t work out. My new life is not transactional but transformational.
Now, we chat on the regular instead of at designated times. Now, we laugh together. Risks feel less risky. And I am getting more done in less time.
WINS all around!
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