I got married young and had kids almost right off the bat. We weren’t used to making much so it wasn’t a huge decision for me to stay at home with my kids. There were days it wasn’t easy, but for us overall it was the right thing.
By the time my oldest daughter Courtney had kids she also had her MBA and was growing in competency and proficiency in her field. She and her husband made a decision for her to go back to work after her maternity leave. I was unsettled about their decision but didn’t want to impose my thoughts on their lives.
Skyler and Courtney have proven to be fantastic parents, like the ones who really know their kids personalities but don’t give in their whims. They are firm but kind. Bedtime stories, boat rides and flying kites are just some of the memories they are intentional about making with their kids. And yet I was still uneasy. I wanted the best for my grandkids, but I didn’t want to be that controlling mother-in-law or nagging disapproving grandparent that had more relationship with the grands than their own adult children.
I took it to the Lord.
I didn’t know if He could really help me out with this but I really wanted to resolve. I doubted I could find any reference in scripture to stay-at-home or working moms. Then I read Proverbs 31. That woman was all over the map! She was a commercial buyer, an international trader, a real estate marketer, and entrepreneur, a designer, a tailor and a philanthropist, just to name a few. This is the Biblical model woman we are talking about here and there is no way she was a stay-at-home mom! She had a staff!
Now don’t get me wrong, there is a place for women in the home and I don’t regret for one minute the decision I made or time I spent at home with my kids. All I am saying is maybe this is a personal decision for husbands and wives to make together and the rest of us should respect, support and encourage them and their growing families whatever they choose.
The stay-at-home moms may have to deal with lesser income and find creative ways around that. Some of them deal with boredom or feeling “shelved” until their kids are older.
For the working mom there is a lot of juggling involved and zero boredom. I would say one key factor for success is the childcare that is chosen. Our grandkids go to an amazing woman that I adore. (Hi Trica!) If you do feel God leading you to work, find good daycare that you trust, maybe even work out a deal with a stay-at-home mom in your area. Make sure the person you choose for a major influence in your kids’ lives has the same values you have about faith and community etc.
Whatever you do – do it in faith that you are following God’s will and He will make a way!
P.S. These are my happy grandsons Vincent and Bowen! 🙂 Aren’t they the best!?!