I counted it up – we’ve moved 11 times in our 34 years of married life! And 6 of them were across state lines.
It has been awhile though. Most recently we were in the same town in upstate NY for 15 years.
Now that we are in PA though, so much about moving is coming back to me – some practical, some emotional, some spiritual. So, in no particular order, here’s my
Top Ten Tips for a healthy transition .
#1 If you look for something twice in the same place – that is where it belongs. Your mind has told you to look there more than once so it’s probably best to move that item where you think it should be.
#2 Consider carefully if there are parts of your life you would like to remake into a new normal. Maybe there are some new habits you would like to build into your life – spiritually, physically, socially…even in your wardrobe. It can be a good time for change.
#3 Take some time before you commit to responsibilities or relationships. It can be easy to want to jump right into volunteering but it may be wise to try a few things before you commit.
#4 Clean slate people. Many times my “outsider” take on some one has turned out to be a game changer. I can speak life into them as I see them for who they are as they have no prior filter (read baggage) attached from their past from my perspective.
#5 See the good. I love calling out the good I see in the organization I work with, the church I am a part of and the new community I live in. It’s new to me so may be easier to see. This also helps me keep a positive perspective. Do some exploring.
#6 Revisit Touchpoints. Continuing my favorite Netflix series help me escape all the change and feel “normal” for 45 minutes. Another one for me was to find the Starbucks in my new community. This is a familiar place, but with a new look and new people. Touchpoints give me hope and help my little roots to grow a bit more into my new home.
#7 “Grieve” positively. There’s nothing wrong with missing things. It can be healthy to let it out but try to say it with a grateful tone.
“I miss Trader Joes and Wegmans. They are sure great places and served me well when I lived near them.”
#8 Lead with humility- earn respect. I may have studied a certain topic, or have a lot of experience in a particular field, but I haven’t walked any of that out in my new place. It’s important to ask questions about culture and history and pose new ideas staring with, “I wonder if …”
#9 Ask permission to share perspective. You are the newby. You may see things in ways that a lifer doesn’t notice. Share all the good you can and ask permission to share ideas that could foster improvement.
#10 Push yourself a little. Make some new friends. Invite people over, don’t just wait to be invited. But also feel free to guard your spare time and fuel your soul if you need it. Discern what is best for each moment.
Hope these help! Feel free to reply or comment and add to the list!