To speak up or not to speak at all? That is the question!
Feedback can help us with blind spots. After all, they call them blind spots cuz you can’t see them on your own. And it’s only the people closest to you that will tell you if you have something in your teeth. Wouldn’t you want to know if something you were doing was perceived as negative by others in any way? Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” And then there is the old, iron sharpens iron…” business from Proverbs 27:17
On the other hand, 1 Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” And there’s the good ol’ “Love is patient, Love is kind…” from 1 Corinthians 13. These verses appear to say that the right thing to do is not to do anything at all. So, it seems that scripture is speaking out of both sides of its mouth.
Are we supposed to bring stuff up or are we supposed to let stuff go? I think we all have a default that we would prefer, but it’s not up to us.
Personally, I want what we’re supposed to do to be more clear. I wish the Bible had tabs where you could look up certain topics and it would give specific logical advice like, “if you encounter (situation) then you should always do (solution).”
Sometimes I wish there was a ‘help’ search feature on my Bible where I could just type in key words and then it would give me clear step by step instructions about what to do to resolve any issue. But knowing God’s will is much more like a help line than a manual. He wants us to contact Him directly on each and every situation in our lives and then live out our actions and decisions one by one, incident by incident, season by season, relationship by relationship as we walk with Him in faith that He is leading us.
He had a good idea when He gave us clear boundaries. We know when things are over the line morally or ethically etc. but then He gave overarching principles that may actually compete with each other like the ones above. He did it this way because He loves to interact with us! He wants us to know Him, not just His acts or His ways. He is anxious for personal engagement with Him.
So go ahead and ask Him about that thing and whether or not you should say something. He will guide you and you can move out in faith and practice hearing His voice.